Monday, July 6, 2009

Chloe on July 5th

July 5, 2009 It is Sunday night and taking a few days away and spending time with my family was just I needed! I hope that each and every one of you had an equally satisfying weekend. I did not see Chloe until this afternoon, when I did it was just she and I and a really quiet Sunday afternoon. It hasn't happened like that for me in a while. Chloe was wide awake when I entered the room, staring intently at the two black and white stuffed animals tied above and to the side of her crib. The black and white contrast seems to grab her attention and those are her favorite stuffed animals. When I peeked over at her, she smiled directly at me and my heart just melted. Her color was good and her mood was happy and sweet. I think that I can safely say that she has recovered from the procedure last week. Ahhhhh. That's me, taking a breath! The last time I was there, she had higher respirations and heart rate and the docs worried that she might have picked up bacteria again during the procedure. So, I was by her side as they drew blood from her Broviac in the chest, also from her little hand, where it is so difficult to get the blood drawn and an i.v resource person is called for better luck in the getting the job done. Also, a catheter had to be inserted in order to get a urine sample. It took about two hours for that process to be completed and it was not fun for Chloe and pretty nerve wracking for me. Thankfully, my husband Joe was there with me that night and offered support to both of us. So, as far as is known now, there is no infection and Chloe is feeling better every day. Today, we chatted for a bit and then I held her. I'm still a tad nervous getting all the tubes adequately situated in order to get her out of the crib and settled in to the chair, so I still ask the nurse for help. Not Jen! She is feeling quite adept at most things and makes me proud! So, as soon as I was comfortable, settled in with her in my arms and ready to party.....Miss Chloe promptly fell asleep! It really is a wonderful feeling, to know that she relaxes and dozes so quickly when being cozied up by her loved ones. It is such an amazing feeling to know that each one of you also cradle Chloe in your arms, at all times of the day and night, in your ever so heartfelt prayers. You have all become a huge part of Chloe's healing, of my accepting and believing that all things really are possible through God. This is going to be a long and winding road, a road with hills and valleys and also getting past all those and reaching the mountain peaks (those feed my spirit). I have never in my entire life experienced the love and support of so many people as all of you, no matter what the crisis or even a celebration as far as that goes! I can get on Facebook at any time of day or night, go to this page and find more group members and ALWAYS find encouraging words, stories and uplifting prayers, either on this wall or in my personal inbox. Each one of you is an angel, because in holding me up, you enable me to be there for my daughter, or son-in-law, or grandchildren, which in turn, allows them to hold each other up in much more positive ways. I will be indebted forever. Tears stream down my face as I write this and realize the positive effect you are having in Chloe's healing, in so many, many beautiful ways. I know that God provides, always. Sometimes, we cannot see the way, but as our faith holds tight, the most amazing things are revealed. I am so very, very glad He has sent us all of you! I cannot think of many more heartbreaking situations than those that we believe hurt babies. Thank you for helping me through this time in my life! Love and blessings to all!!! Nancy

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